So I gave birth. After all, I was pregnant for almost a year and a half.
We traveled to San Diego, left Arizona, drove through New Mexico, Texas, arrived to Tulsa, Oklahoma, stayed there for a month, and continued our trip through Missouri. We slept in a shithole hotel in downtown St. Louis, just because we assumed that downtown is always great. We hit the road at 4a.m (it was really a shitty hotel). When we arrived to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, that same day, a blizzard greeted us.
We lived in a temporary apartment for two months, found a house, renovated and furnished it… and I was still pregnant!
I wrote about the pregnancy experience here. And I was thinking about whether I should write about the birth experience. Why? Because it was more of a trauma than an experience. I thought about my readers who had not yet given birth. I thought it was not thoughtful to write about it (look at me, flattering myself that I have readers besides my mom and some friends which I forced to read my posts), but on second thought, everyone is different.
One wants to know everything and be ready, while the other (me) prefers to bury their head in the sand and deal with reality when it occurs.
So, my due date was September 18, but his majesty refused to come out. So, after a week I was hospitalized to get induced.
Birth in the United States
First of all, the birth experience in the US is really different from Israel. The medical insurance is private, the medical bills are high – and although I am always bitter about it, I was grateful.
Not a Hospital-a Hotel
It maybe sound weird, but I was amazed that you do not share room with anyone, neither before birth nor after the birth. Although I am an absolute Zionist and I am the first to defend Israel against those who speak out against it, the recovery rooms in our hospitals look like a set of a scene from a film about World War II.
The delivery room (which I stayed in from the moment I got to the hospital until the baby was out) and the recovery room were very comfortable. The recovery room looked like a 5-star hotel room with toilet and shower that I wish I had at home, a refrigerator, a sofa and an armchair that opens to the beds, and varied menu of meals.
Here there are no “visiting hours” – it is possible to visit the mother 24 hours a day. The department is a locked, closed and you need permission from the mother to come and visit.
Gray’s Anatomy – Hello
Always in TV series you see the doctors and nurses beautiful like models, which automatically makes you wonder about the reliability of the series. Guys, it’s all true. They are all beautiful. As if one of the criteria of nursing school is to look really good.
Because the whole process of birth took about 30 hours, I had seven nurses and two doctors besides my doctor, so I think I have a pretty good indication of the medical staff. As well, all the medical staff was exceptionally nice. Maybe because each nurse has only two mothers, and less stress means more patience.
Every half hour, another Barbie comes into the room to make sure you are OK, and to let you know that nothing has really changed, and you’re stuck here for a few more hours. My mom and Dim sat with me in the room from the moment I was hospitalized, in which I was in a high and amused mood, until the moment of birth where I mainly cursed the moment I was born a woman.
After about 20 hours of waiting for his majesty, after about 40 times the medical staff came to update that there is nothing new, my mom remarked “They are actually coming to inform you that there is nothing new to inform you.”
As well, the medical staff is sensitive, apologizes from the depths of their hearts for every needle they put in your body, and they really feel your pain.
I remember that in Israel they hospitalized me in the emergency room, and I screamed when I was given an infusion. The nurse told me her second name was “gentle” and screamed at me to be quiet. Long live the difference.
This is the part that I’m polite enough to warn you guys: I’m going to elaborate on details I did not want to hear before I gave birth. I was not interested in knowing any detail about the delivery. As far as I was concerned, knowledge wasn’t power, it was fear.
It’s Time To Eat
I did not know how long it was allowed to eat before getting the induction. So I decided that 7 hours is legitimate. And I ate small salad. Big mistake. After you are hospitalized for induction you can’t eat. In fact, from the moment I was hospitalized until the moment we were transferred to the recovery, 33 hours passed, and in total I didn’t eat for 40 hours (I think it’s kind of a record for me).
Conclusion – Eat a good meal before going to the hospital. Worst case? They’ll do you an enema. Awkward? Yes. But better than a million hours of hunger.
Why god why?
There is a good reason why men are commanded to thank god in the Morning Prayer they’re not women. 30 hours of waiting for the baby I was bitter. I was angry at Eve and cried out loud that no fruit was worth it. Not even a watermelon.
Then I was angry with Dima for not being a Russian oligarch who would pay for a surrogate mom to carry our child.
What To Expect at Birth
How Does Contraction Feel?
It’s feel like really strong menstrual cramps – so if you suffer from menstrual cramps every month, you can handle this. During pregnancy, there are imaginary contractions, in which the abdomen contracts. At birth it will feel like painful menstrual cramps. For the lucky ones who do not experience severe menstrual cramps each month and do not even know what I’m talking about these are pain in the lower abdomen and lower back.
The Painful Part
I had heard horror stories about the shot I was supposed to get before the epidural. It’s a shot that was supposed to put the area to sleep before the epidural. Honestly? I was terrified.
At the same time, while waiting for his majesty, I heard five women who gave birth without epidural, who screamed horrifying screams. Like someone was beating them up.
I was so afraid that if I could get out of bed and run away I would. Every time woman screamed in the hallway, I grabbed one of the nurses and questioned her: Did she got epidural? This is her first child? and all kinds of penetrating questions. So that despite my big fear of the injection, I did it.
When the anesthesiologist arrived (his bill was only $ 2500, just saying), a short, thin guy who looked a little funny, I cried bitterly and begged him to treat me like I’m his baby sister.
I will not lie. It was horrible. I screamed so hard, I did not know that my throat could produce such screams. Few doctors came to the room to see what happened. Don’t worry guys, it’s just the Israeli drama queen. Well, I’m not a drama queen. It really was terrible
After the epidural everything became more blurry. Hard to move. I felt sorry for myself and felt that I was being abused. No control of the lower body, so a little fart run away and you know it only when you hear it with everyone around you. And everyone tells you to sleep, to rest. The hard part still ahead of you (how depressing is that?). And all because of Eve. And who can rest? Epidural or not, I am awake and alert.
After 27 hours of waiting, at 9:00 PM, the doctor examined me and said, “Good job! 9 centimeters! We will start soon”.
At 10 PM the birth began and lasted about an hour and 48 minutes, the truth? The birth did not hurt at all. And time passed quickly.
A friend told me that in Israel, a two-hour birth is considered very long, and here everyone was so happy and proud. As if they had forgotten what I have done to them only a few hours earlier.
It Is Not Over??
After his majesty got out, they wrapped him and put him on my chest. And guys, this is the hardest moment I had. The baby on me, I already thought it was all behind me, my vagina felt as I pushed through her a watermelon, but that’s it, it’s over.
Then my lovely gynecologist, pretty like a fine china doll, leaned against my tummy with all her strength and weight. Please note that this is an area that has not been anesthetized. This is a terrible process that modern medical seems to have found no solution.
“I’m sorry my dear, I have to get it all out,” she said as she pressed my stomach. And I, who did not have the strength of suffering, cried bitterly. But the little guy lies on me so calmly. I can’t scream as much as I want, it’s known fact that you do not wake a sleeping baby.
Then they took us to the recovery room. My mom and Dim fell asleep on the couches.
I admit, I was shocked. I thought about Israel: It was hard for me to think that a woman after childbirth, after such a traumatic experience should share a room with strangers.
I lay down in bed, admiring my ability to lie on my stomach, and turn easily from side to side. And I did not fall asleep.
The baby woke up and cried. Dima and my mom are light sleepers, but they were so tired that even his crying didn’t woke them up. I staggered toward him and leaned over him. The pacifier fell. When I put it back in his mouth he grab my finger. Then it hit me, I’m a mom. I’m his and he’s mine forever. Or at least until he will find a wife.
That’s all for now on pregnancy and childbirth. Who am I to write about parenting at such an early stage?!
Furthermore I didn’t took a lot of the pictures in this post, for the source click on the picture.
I hope that if you have given birth, you had better experience,
If you hadn’t had the baby yet- I hope I didn’t scared you,
If you’re planning to get pregnant – I hope I did not ruin that for you. I want to believe you forget everything after a while.
No Comments